Talk Funny Jokes

anodynes are the answer!

Pinoy Tagalog SMS Jokes Funny Messages. all about filipino text messaging. Your 1:1 Traffic Exchange · Posts (RSS) · Comments (RSS) · Cellphone Tagalog Quotes.

Original post:
Pinoy Tagalog SMS Jokes Funny Messages: Cellphone Tagalog Quotes

Due to mounting public critism last April, the Comelec secretly held a special qualificatory exam for showbiz candidate to see if they were intelligent enough to run for public office. Each candidate got a piece of paper from an empty ballot box which contained different kinds of questions. The following is the actual declassified transcript:

Commissioner: What is the difference between lightning and electricity?

Bong: Lightning is free but electricity is not.

C: How many sides does a circle have?

Rey: Two, THe inside and the outside

C: What is a planet?

Lou: A planet is a body of Earth surrounded by sky.

C: What is Uranus
George: Sir, do we have to describe that

C: How can you tell when you’re breathing and not breathing?
Edu: When you breath, you inspire, When you don’t breath, you expire.

C: What does the word ‘germinate’ mean
Nora: When you become a German citizen

C: What is the difference between H20 and C20?
Dingdon:g Easy lang, H20 means hot water and C20 means cold water.

C: What does momentum mean?
Vilma: That’s what you give a person when they are going away

C: Where can you find finland?
Anjo: Inside an original Nokia cellphone

C: What is the capital of the United States?
Herbert: There are two, capital letter ‘U’ and ‘S’

C: What is water composed of?
Philip: It’s composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin, Oxygin, sir is pure gin, while hydrogin , is gin and water naman

C: what is dew?
Lander: Dew is what you see on leavces when the sun shines down on them and they start to make pawis.

C: What is respiration?
Rudy: It;s composed of inspiration , then expectoration

C: What is the longest word in the dictionary?
Isko: Elastic sir, because you can stretch it very long.

C: How do you save a drowning victim
Joey: You climb on top of the person and move up and down to make artificial perspiration

C: Where can you find Guatemala?
Lito: In the botany book . It’s aother kind of gumamela

C: What is Iraq?
Mikey: A kind of stone , sir.

A seed ascends around the turntable.

funny tagalog lines Joke: Babae

Angry woman: Hindo mo ba alam dear na 25 taon na tao engaged?!
Absend -minded man: Ha, 25 taon?
Woman: oo mister!, wala pa ba tayong planong mg-asawa, aber?!

tagalog funny lines: Ama at Anak

Anak: Daddy, how much money I am worth?
Ama: Pricelless ka, anak, sa amin.
Anak: Sa tingin ninyo ba I’m worth a thousand pesos?
Ama: Mas higit pa dyan anak
Anak: A million pesos?
Ama: Mas higit pa rin diyan anak,
Anak: Di puwede ko na kayo singilin, Daddy?

tagalog funny lines: Magnanakaw

Nagnakaw si Arman ng isang katutak na bagong sapatos. Nung Umuwi siya ay inombag siya ng tatay at nanay nya, so bilang pagsisisi ay nagkumpisal siya sa pari.

Arman: Father, bless me po for I have sinned.
Pari: Ano yun anak?
Arman: Nagnakaw po ako ng isang katutak na bagong sapatos
Pari: Ah…ganun ba..ilapit mo ng konti ang mukha mo at magsalita ka ng pabulong.
Arman: Ay, bakit po?
Pari: Meron ka ba diyan size 8?

Funny Tagalog Lines: Kilig

Tanung ng Poljak Kay Kekang: May nakapagsabi na ba sayo na maganda ka?
Kekang: (kilig to the max) actually wala pa nga eh!
Poljak: Ah ganun ba? TOtoo nga talaga sabi nila tungkol sayo..

Funny Tagalog Lines: Girls only

Guy: Hi! Ahh, umm, I just wanna ask, didn’t we go on a date once?Or was it twice?
SHE: I think once. Kasi , I never make the same mistake twice!

Funny Tagalog Celebrity Lines:

TEXT NI KIM: Ger pasa mo me P2 load may important me itext.
REPLY NI GERALD: Cge(Sends P2 load)
KIM: (message receive))K! got it tnx!
GERALD: Gagits mo wag na u replay sayang!
KIM: ok tnx again!

Funny Tagalog Quote: Politics

What is the real meaning of the word politics?
POLI -numerous
TICS – bloodsuckers

funny lines tagalog : Easy Tagalog

Quick and easy tagalog for beginners

What is handsome? Guwapo
What is beautiful? Maganda
What is cute? Of course, AKO!

Funny lines tagalog : Filipino Chinese Conversion

How to you say mataba siya – Wun Fat Gai
How to you say halika na dito – Kum Hia Nao
How to you say hindi ko bibilhin – No Bai Dam Ting
How to you say nangitim ka – Wai yu So tan
How to you say walang bayad ito – Ai No Pei
How to you say bakit ka aalis – Wai Go Nao
How to you say bakit ngayon ka lang – Wai Yu Kam Nao
How to you say matagal ka naghintay – Hao Long Wei Ting
How to you say may kinakain ako – Mun Ching Sum Ting
How to you say may bawal mg park – No Pah King
How to you say heto na sila – Hia Dei Kam
How to you say pag aalis ka na – Wen Yu Go
How to you say masaya talaga kami – Wee So Ha Pe
How to you say Kumanta ka nama – Yu SIng Sung
How to you say kanta tayo Lady Marmalade – Wai Yu Sing Dum Sung