Talk Funny Jokes

So today I and a friend with an iPhone were out in an area with really bad cell coverage. My friend needed to file some flight plan info (we were flying together), and he uses his iPhone to do it. But there was no AT&T coverage here. But in one spot you can get a decent Verizon EVDO signal (at 850 MHz).

So my Pre locked on to it and I could download my email to check on what going on at the office (I’m on vacation but need to stay in touch). Worked great since my Pre roams on VZ’s network.

So I said to my friend, hey, my Pre can help out your iPhone. So I signed on with AONIC’s GREAT FANTASTIC tethering application, and enabled wifi tethering (I’d never done that before, just used USBnet and bluetooth). His iPhone saw my Pre, joined the network with one click, and then he proceeded to run his flight plan app, downbloaded the weather info and maps, all while I was busy replying to some urgent email as well as checking the forums, etc… He then fired up skype on his iPhone and made a few calls!

He finished up and he admitted that he was really impressed by the Pre. So until the iPhone is offered by VZ, I think he might get a Pre on the Sprint Relay plan and bring it along as a router to help out his iPhone when he gets in into tough coverage areas (he travels a lot in not so urban areas). At $25/month, the Pre makes a pretty good modem for an iPhone…

Pinoy Tagalog SMS Jokes Funny Messages.

The rest is here:
Pinoy Tagalog SMS Jokes Funny Messages: Tagalog kwots sms

An English teacher was explaining to his students the concept of gender association in the English language.

He stated how hurricanes at one time were given feminine names and how ships and planes were usually referred to as “she”. One of the students raised their hand and asked – “What gender is a computer”?

The teacher wasn’t certain which it was, so he divided the class into two groups, males in one, females in the other, and asked them to decide if a computer should be masculine or feminine. Both groups were asked to give four reasons for their recommendation. The group of women concluded that computers should be referred to in the masculine gender because:

1. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
2. They have a lot of data but are still clueless.
3. They are supposed to help you solve your problems, but half the time they ARE the problem.
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that, if you had waited a little longer, you could have had a better model.

The men, on the other hand, decided that computers should definitely be referred to in the feminine gender because:
1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic.
2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.
3. Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval.
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.

This is from a radio program, a true report of an incident in Michigan:

A guy buys a brand new Lincoln Navigator for $42,500 and has $560 monthly payments.

He and a friend go duck hunting in winter, and of course all the lakes are frozen. These two guys go out on the lake with their guns, a dog, and of course the new vehicle. They drive out onto the frozen lake and get ready.

Now, they want to make some kind of a natural landing area for the ducks, something for the decoys to float on. In order to make a hole large enough to look like something a wandering duck would fly down and land on, it is going to take little more effort than an ice hole drill.
So, out of the back of the new Navigator comes A STICK OF ‘DYNAMITE’ with a short, ’40-second fuse’!

Now these two ‘Rocket Scientists’ do take into consideration that they want to place the stick of dynamite on the ice at a location far from where they are standing (and the new Navigator), because they don’t want to take the risk of slipping on the ice when they run from the burning fuse and possibly go up in smoke with the resulting blast. They light the 40-second fuse and throw the dynamite.

Remember a couple of paragraphs back when I mentioned the vehicle, the guns and the DOG? Let’s talk about the dog: A highly trained Black Lab used for: RETRIEVING; ESPECIALLY things thrown by the OWNER! You guessed it, the dog takes off after the thrown stick of dynamite on the ice and retrieves the stick of dynamite with the burning 40-second fuse about the time it hits the ice!

The two men yell, scream, wave their arms and wonder what to do now. The dog, CHEERED On, keeps coming.

One of the guys grabs the shotgun and shoots at the dog. The shotgun is loaded with # 8 buckshot, hardly big enough to stop a Black Lab.

The dog stops for a moment, slightly confused, but continues on.

Another shot and this time the dog, still standing, becomes really confused and of course terrified, thinking these two ‘geniuses’ have gone ‘insane’.

The dog takes off to find cover, under the BRAND NEW Navigator. The men continue to yell as they run.

The exhaust pipe on the truck is still hot, so the dog yelps and drops the dynamite under the truck, and takes off after his master.

Then, BOOM, the truck is blown to bits and sinks to the bottom of the lake in a very large hole, leaving the two ‘idiots’ standing there with this “I can’t believe this happened” look on their faces.

The insurance company says that sinking a vehicle in a lake by illegal use of explosives is not covered. And, he still had yet to make the first of those $560 a month payments!

And you thought your day was not going well!!

One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike, “My elbow hurts like crazy. I guess I better see a doctor.”

“Listen, you don’t have to spend that kind of money,” Mike replies. “There’s a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart. Just give it a urine sample and the
computer will tell you what’s wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars… a lot cheaper than a doctor.”

So Joe puts a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Wal-Mart. He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours
the sample into the slot and waits.

Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:

“You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks. Thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart.”

That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Joe began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and a sperm
sample for good measure. Joe hurried back to Wal-Mart, eager to check the results.

He deposited ten dollars, poured in his concoction, and awaited the results. The computer then prints the following:

1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9)

2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7)

3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.

4. Your wife is pregnant; twins. They aren’t yours. Get a lawyer.

5. If you don’t stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better.

Thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart