Filipino Tagalog Jokes | Funny Conversation
Translations Included
#1
kid: ma! dalian mo si kuya nagbigti sa banyo!
mother: ano?!
nagmadali yung nanay papunta sa banyo. wala pala dun yung anak nya.
mother: ikaw talaga. tinakot mo ako! wala naman yung kuya mo dun eh.
kid: joke lang! sa kwarto siya nagbigti.
trans.
kid: ma! kuya (older brother) hanged himself in the bathroom!
mother: what?!
the mother rushed to the bathroom. her son wasn’t there.
mother: you little rascal! you frightened me to death!
kid: just kidding. he killed himself in the bedroom.
#2
father: o anak kamusta na? ano ginawa nyo sa school?
daughter: papa naglaro po kami tsaka nagtumbling po ako.
father: ano ka ba! sabi ko nga wag kang magta-tumbling eh. makikita panty mo!
daughter: eh di naman po makikita kasi nilagay ko sa bag ko 
trans.
father: how are you? what did you do at school today?
daughter: we played around and i did cartwheels.
father: i told you not to do cartwheels at school! everyone’s going to see your panties!
daughter: oh don’t worry. nobody saw my panties because i put them in my bag.
#3
father: oy junior, wag kang babakla bakla ah. umayos ka. magpakalalake ka nga.
son: opo papa. papunta na nga po ako sa basketbolan eh.
father: yan ang anak ko! lalakeng lalake.
son: ma, nakita mo pompoms ko?
trans.
father: oy junior, don’t you ever act gay.
son: yes father. in fact, im on my way to a basketball game.
father: yes, that’s my boy!
son: ma, did you see my pompoms?
#4
child: ma, galing ng teacher namin! tinuruan kami ng magagandang asal!
mother: talaga? eh di marunong ka nang mag-po at opo?
child: natural. tanga ka ba?
trans.
child: my teacher’s so good. she taught us good manners.
mother: really? so do you know how to use po and opo?
child: of course. are you stupid?
#5 – PICKUP LINE
posporo ka ba? posporo kasi ako eh. match tayo