SA OSPITAL…..
WIFE: hon, nahirapan ako huminga.
HUSBAND: kung nahirapan ka ng huminga, itigil mo na.
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kuya: bat ganyan itsura mo? ang dungis mo at amoy imburnal ka
utol:nakita mo b ung kanal sa tapat ng tindahan nila aling inday?
kuya: abay xempre a
utol: pues ako HINDI!
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One day, a Genie appeared to a woman and said, “This is your lucky day! I will give you 3 wishes.”
“Yeheey!” the woman squealed.
“But on one condition,” said the Genie, “Whatever you ask for, your husband will receive 3 times more.”
The woman frowned, “What? But I hate my husband! He’s a despicable man!”
The Genie shook his head. “I’m sorry. I’m the Love Genie. I repeat: What you ask for, your husband will receive 3 times more.”
The woman said, “Oh, okay. My first wish: Make me very rich. I want $1 Million.”
The Genie asked, “Are you sure? Your husband will have $3 Million.”
She says, “Oh, never mind. What is his is mine and what is mine is his.”
“Very well then!” the Genie said, and with a wave of his hand, and “Poof!” the woman had $1 Million—and her husband had $3 Million.
“My second request is that I want to be very beautiful.”
The Genie asked, “Are you sure? Your husband will look like Piolo Pascual and Sam Milby and John Lloyd put together. This is very dangerous. The girls will flock to him.”
The woman said, “Just as long as I’ll be beautiful.”
And with the wave of his hand, “Poof!”, and she became utterly beautiful and the husband three times more handsome.
The woman then said, “For the third wish, I would like to have a very mild heart attack.”
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Amo: Bakit ka umiiyak?
Katulong: Sabi po in dok tatanggalan po ako ng butlig
Amo: Butlig lang iiyak ka na…
Katulong: Kasi ok lang kung right lig or left lig lang o… Pero bakit naman butligs pa…..
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Josh: Kumusta ang assignment?
Ricardo: Masama. Wala akong nasagutan. Blank paper ang ipinasa ko.
Josh: Naku, ako rin! Paano ‘yan? Baka isipin nila, nagkopyahan tayo?!
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Dok: May taning na ang buhay mo.
Juan: Wala na bang pag-asa? Ano po ba ang dapat kong gawin?
Dok: Mag-asawa ka na lang ng pangit at bungangera.
Juan: Bakit, gagaling po ba ako ru’n?
Dok: Hindi, pero mas gugustuhin mo pang mamatay kesa mabuhay!
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DE-LATA
Anak: ‘tay, pahingi ng P20. bibili ako ng de-lata!
Tatay: anak, mga taga-probinsya lang ang tumatawag ng de-lata! Englishin mo!
Anak: Pa’no?
Tatay: ‘KANG GUD” !
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Frog Prince???
FROG: what does my future hold?
fairy: you’ll meet someone who wants to know everything about you.
FROG: great! Will I meet her in a party?
fairy: no. in biology class
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THINGS THAT YOU DONT WANNA HERE WHEN YOUR IN OPERATION
-san yung gunting na bago? Bat may kalawang to?
-10ml? may nakasurvive na ba dyan? Sabi ko 5ml lang!
-doc, ubos na po pala yung anesthesia.
-kanina pa bukas yung tiyan, asan yung pantahi?
-sunog! Sunog! Labas lahat!