A Filipino, a Chinese man, and a Japanese guy are in a bar having a drink. When a gorgeous woman comes up to them and says, “Whoever can use the words ‘liver’ and ‘cheese’ in a creative sentence can have me for tonight.” So the Chinese guy says “I love liver and cheese.” She says “That’s not good enough” The Japanese man says “I hate liver and cheese” She says “That’s not creative” Finally, the Filipino says “Liver alone, cheese mine!”
At 85 years of age, Roger married Jenny, a lovely 25 year old.
Since her new husband is so old, Jenny decides that after their
Wedding she and Roger should have separate bedrooms, because she is
Concerned that her new but aged husband may overexert himself if they
spendThe entire night together.
After the wedding festivities Jenny prepares herself for bed and the
Expected ?knock? on the door. Sure enough the knock comes, the door
Opens and there is Roger, her 85 year old groom, ready for action.
They unite as one. All goes well, Roger takes leave of his bride, and
She prepares to go to sleep.
After a few minutes, Jenny hears another knock on her bedroom door,
And it?s Roger. Again he is ready for more ?action?. Somewhat surprised,
Jenny consents for more coupling. When the newly weds are done, Roger
Kisses his bride, bids her a fond good night and leaves.
She is set to go to sleep again, but, aha you guessed it – Roger is
Back again, rapping on the door, and is as fresh as a 25-year-old, ready
For more ?action?. And, once more they enjoy each other.
But as Roger gets set to leave again, his young bride says to him, ?I am
Thoroughly impressed that at your age you can perform so well and
so often. I have been with guys less than a third of your age who
were only good once. You are truly a great lover, Roger.?
Roger, somewhat embarrassed, turns to Jenny and says: ?You mean I was
The moral of the story: Don?t be afraid of getting old, Alzheimer?s
Has its advantages
There were these two elderly people living in a Florida mobile home
Park. He was a widower and she a widow. They had known one another for
a number of years.
One evening there was a community supper in the big activity center.
These two were at the same table, across from one another. As the meal went on, he made a few admiring glances at her and finally gathered up his courage to ask her, ?Will you marry me??
After about six seconds of careful consideration, she answered. ?Yes, Yes, I will.?
The meal ended and with a few more pleasant exchanges, they went to their respective places.
Next morning, he was troubled. ?Did she say ?yes? or did she say ?no???
He couldn?t remember. Try as he would, he just could not recall.
Not even a faint memory.
With trepidation, he went to the telephone and called her. First, he explained to her that he didn?t remember as well as he used to. Then he reviewed the lovely evening past.
As he gained a little more courage, he then inquired of her, ?When I asked if you would marry me, did you say ?Yes? or did you say ?No???
He was delighted to hear her say, ?Why, I said, ?Yes, yes I will? and I meant it with all my heart.?
Then she continued, ?And I am so glad that you called, because I couldn?t remember who had asked me.?
This 82-year-old man married a 22-year-old woman and they decided that they wanted to have kids. So after trying for a while with no success, he went to see the urologist, pretty discouraged. The urologist said not to get discouraged and that they could run some tests. ?Take this specimen jar into the bathroom and leave me a specimen to test,? the doctor said.
The old man closed the door, and about an hour and a half later, still had not come out. The doctor came by and asked, ?Are you alright??
?No? the old man said. ?This just isn?t going to work.? he dejectedly explained. ?There?s no hope for me, I?ve worn out my left hand, I?ve worn out my right hand, I?ve run cold water over it, and I?ve run hot water over it. I?ve even thumped it on the edge of the sink. But no way can I get the top off this specimen jar!?
A 65-year-old woman married an 85-year-old man. After about six months together, the woman wasn?t feeling well and she went to her doctor. The doctor examined and said, ?Congratulations Mrs. Jones, you?re going to be a mother.?
?Get serious doctor, I?m 65.?
?I know,? said the doctor, ?This morning, I would have said it was impossible, but this afternoon you are a medical miracle.?
?I?ll be darned,? she replied and stormed out of the office. She walked down the hall and around the corner to where the telephones were. In a rage, she dialed her husband. ?Hello? she heard in his familiar halting voice. She screamed, ?You rotten SOB. You got me pregnant!?
There was a pause on the line. Finally, her husband answered, ?Who?s calling please??