A man stood on the side of the road hitchhiking on a very dark night in the middle of a storm. The night was rolling and no cars passed. The storm was so strong, he could hardly see a few feet ahead of him. Suddenly he saw a car come towards him and stop.

The guy, without thinking about it, got in the car and closed the door to realize that nobody was behind the wheel. The car started slowly forward.

The guy looked at the road and saw a curve coming his way. Scared, he started praying, and begged for his life. He hadn’t come out of shock, when just before he hit the curve, a hand appeared through the window and moved the wheel. The guy, paralyzed in terror, watched how the hand appeared every time before a curve.

The guy gathered strength, got out of the car and ran to the nearest town. Wet and in shock, he ran into a cantina and asked for two shots of tequila, and started telling everybody about the horrible experience he went through.

A silence enveloped everybody when they realized the guy was crying and wasn’t drunk.

About half an hour later, two guys walked into the same cantina, and one said to the other, “Look Pete, that’s the idiot who climbed into the car while we were pushing it.”

Q: What do you cal1 20 Flight Attendants in a basement?
A: A whine cellar.

Q: What is the difference between a F/A and a jet engine?
A: The engine stops whining at the gate.

Q: Why does it take a F/A 5 minutes to open a carton of orange juice?
A: The carton says \\\”CONCENTRATE.\\\”

Q: What does a retired F/A do when she is nostalgic for her job?
A: She stands in front of the bathroom sink and eats.

Q: How do you get a F/A into your hotel room?
A: Make a sound like an ice machine.

Q: What\\\’s the difference between a good F/A and a bad F/A ?
A: The good F/A says, \\\”Morning, Captain\\\”, and the bad F/A says, \\\”It\\\’s morning Captain!\\\”

Q: What\\\’s the difference between an airbag and a windbag?
A: Seniority.

Q: Why did the pilot die shortly after retirement?
A: His wife didn\\\’t know to feed him every 2 hours.

Q: What does a captain use for birth control?
A: Personality.
Q: What if that doesn\\\’t work?
A: Layover clothes.

Q: Why was the Ohare employee cafeteria closed last week?
A: A captain rented it for his daughter\\\’s wedding reception.

Q: Why don\\\’t pilots vacation with their families?
A: It\\\’s too difficult to get the jumpseat.

Q: How was copper wire invented?
A: Two pilots found a penny at the same time.

Q: What do you call a crew of pilots tipping the hotel van driver?
A: The March of dimes.

Q: What do pilots yell at football games?
A: \\\”Get the quarter back!\\\”

Q: How can you tell a pilot on a layover from a homeless person?
A: The homeless person is the one buying a newspaper.

Q: What\\\’s the difference between a pilot and God?
A: God doesn\\\’t think he\\\’s a pilot.

Q: What\\\’s the difference between Jeffery Dahmer and a pilot?
A: Dahmer didn\\\’t eat every leg.

Q: How do you get a pilot out of the cockpit?
A: Tell him a USA Today was left in First Class.