Talk Funny Jokes

One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little to her class. She came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried to warn the farmer. She read, ??. and so Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said, ?The sky is falling, the sky is falling!? The teacher paused then asked the class, ?And what do you think that farmer said?? One little girl raised her hand and said, ?I think he said: ?Holy Shit! A talking chicken!?? The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.

Last week I purchased a burger & fries at McDonalds for $3.58.

The counter girl took my $4.00 and I pulled 8 cents from my pocket and gave it to her. She stood there, holding the nickel and 3 pennies. While looking at the screen on her register, I sensed her discomfort & I tried to tell her to just give me two quarters, but when I tried to explain the transaction to her, she stood there and cried.

Why do I tell you this? – - – Because of the evolution in teaching math since the 1950s:

Teaching Math in 1950

A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production

is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit?

Teaching Math in 1960

A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 the price, or $80. What is his profit?

Teaching Math in 1970

A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80. Did he make a profit?

Teaching Math in 1980

A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80 and his profit is $20. Your assignment: Underline the number 20.

Teaching Math in 1990

A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habitat of animals or the preservation of our woodlands. He does this so he can make a profit of $20. What do you think of this way of making a living? Topic for class participation after answering the question: How did the birds and squirrels feel as the logger cut down their homes?

(There are no wrong answers.)

Teaching Math in 2007

Un ranchero vende una carretera de madera papa $100. El cuesto de la produccion era $80. Cuantos tortillas se puede comprar?

The huge college freshman decided to try out for the football team. ?Can you tackle?? asked the coach. ?Watch this,? said the freshman, who proceeded to run smack into a telephone pole, shattering it to splinters. ?Wow,? said the coach.

?I?m impressed. Can you run??

?Of course I can run,? said the freshman. He was off like a shot, and, in just over nine seconds, he had run a hundred-yard dash. ?Great!? enthused the coach. ?But can you pass a football?? The freshman hesitated for a few seconds.

?Well, sir,? he said, ?if I can swallow it, I can probably pass it.?

?Hello, is this the Sheriff?s Office??
?Yes. What can I do for you??

?I?m calling to report ?bout my neighbor Virgil Smith?.He?s hidin? marijuana inside his firewood! Don?t quite know how he gets it inside them logs, but he?s hidin? it there.?

?Thank you very much for the call, sir.?

The next day, the Sheriff?s Deputies descend on Virgil?s house.

They search the shed where the firewood is kept.

Using axes, they bust open every piece of wood, but find no marijuana.

They sneer at Virgil and leave.

Shortly, the phone rings at Virgil?s house.

?Hey, Virgil! This here?s Floyd?.Did the Sheriff come??

?Yeah!?

?Did they chop your firewood??

?Yep!?

?Happy Birthday, buddy!?

Rednecks know how to git-R-dun).