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Teacher Almost Slap Student ( funny gif )

admin — Tue, 18 Oct 2011 16:32:44 +0000

Why We Love Children Part 8 – Talk Funny Jokes

admin — Sun, 14 Feb 2010 18:33:28 +0000

One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little to her class. She came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried to warn the farmer. She read, ??. and so Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said, ?The sky is falling, the sky is falling!? The teacher paused then asked the class, ?And what do you think that farmer said?? One little girl raised her hand and said, ?I think he said: ?Holy Shit! A talking chicken!?? The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.

Math Skills Today – Talk Funny Jokes

admin — Sun, 14 Feb 2010 18:33:28 +0000

Last week I purchased a burger & fries at McDonalds for $3.58.

The counter girl took my $4.00 and I pulled 8 cents from my pocket and gave it to her. She stood there, holding the nickel and 3 pennies. While looking at the screen on her register, I sensed her discomfort & I tried to tell her to just give me two quarters, but when I tried to explain the transaction to her, she stood there and cried.

Why do I tell you this? – - – Because of the evolution in teaching math since the 1950s:

Teaching Math in 1950

A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production

is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit?

Teaching Math in 1960

A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 the price, or $80. What is his profit?

Teaching Math in 1970

A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80. Did he make a profit?

Teaching Math in 1980

A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80 and his profit is $20. Your assignment: Underline the number 20.

Teaching Math in 1990

A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habitat of animals or the preservation of our woodlands. He does this so he can make a profit of $20. What do you think of this way of making a living? Topic for class participation after answering the question: How did the birds and squirrels feel as the logger cut down their homes?

(There are no wrong answers.)

Teaching Math in 2007

Un ranchero vende una carretera de madera papa $100. El cuesto de la produccion era $80. Cuantos tortillas se puede comprar?

THE FRESHMAN – Talk Funny Jokes

admin — Sun, 14 Feb 2010 18:33:28 +0000

The huge college freshman decided to try out for the football team. ?Can you tackle?? asked the coach. ?Watch this,? said the freshman, who proceeded to run smack into a telephone pole, shattering it to splinters. ?Wow,? said the coach.

?I?m impressed. Can you run??

?Of course I can run,? said the freshman. He was off like a shot, and, in just over nine seconds, he had run a hundred-yard dash. ?Great!? enthused the coach. ?But can you pass a football?? The freshman hesitated for a few seconds.

?Well, sir,? he said, ?if I can swallow it, I can probably pass it.?

REDNECK FRIEND – Funny Joke

admin — Sun, 14 Feb 2010 18:33:28 +0000

?Hello, is this the Sheriff?s Office??
?Yes. What can I do for you??

?I?m calling to report ?bout my neighbor Virgil Smith?.He?s hidin? marijuana inside his firewood! Don?t quite know how he gets it inside them logs, but he?s hidin? it there.?

?Thank you very much for the call, sir.?

The next day, the Sheriff?s Deputies descend on Virgil?s house.

They search the shed where the firewood is kept.

Using axes, they bust open every piece of wood, but find no marijuana.

They sneer at Virgil and leave.

Shortly, the phone rings at Virgil?s house.

?Hey, Virgil! This here?s Floyd?.Did the Sheriff come??

?Yeah!?

?Did they chop your firewood??

?Yep!?

?Happy Birthday, buddy!?

Rednecks know how to git-R-dun).

Why We Love Children Part 7 – Talk Funny Jokes

admin — Sun, 14 Feb 2010 18:33:28 +0000

A little boy was doing his math homework. He said to himself, ?Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven. Three plus six, that son of a bitch is nine?.? His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, ?What are you doing?? The little boy answered, ?I?m doing my math homework, Mom.? ?And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?? the mother asked. ?Yes,? he answered. Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, ?What are you teaching my son in math?? The teacher replied, ?Right now, we are learning addition.? The mother asked, ?And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a bitch is four?? After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, ?What I taught them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four.?

Why We Love Children Part 3 – Talk Funny Jokes

admin — Sun, 14 Feb 2010 18:33:28 +0000

An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally asked him ?How do you expect to get into Heaven?? The boy thought it over and said, ?Well, I?ll run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says, ?For Heaven?s sake, Dylan, come in or stay out!??

Why We Love Children Part 1 – Talk Funny Jokes

admin — Sun, 14 Feb 2010 18:33:28 +0000

A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he?d found a cat, but it was dead.

?How do you know that the cat was dead?? she asked her pupil.

?Because I pissed in its ear and it didn?t move,? answered the child innocently.

You did WHAT ? ! ?? the teacher exclaimed in surprise.

?You know,?explained the boy, ?I leaned over and went ?Pssst!? and it didn?t move.?

A STUNNING SENIOR MOMENT – Talk Funny Jokes

admin — Sun, 14 Feb 2010 18:33:28 +0000

A very self-important college freshman attending a recent football game, took it upon himself to explain to a senior citizen sitting next to him why it was impossible for the older generation to understand his generation.
?You grew up in a different world, actually an almost primitive one,? the student said, loud enough for many of those nearby to hear. ?The young people of today grew up with television, jet planes, space travel, man walking on the moon, our spaceships have visited Mars. We have nuclear energy, electric and hydrogen cars, computers with light-speed processing and,? pausing to take another drink of beer.
The Senior took advantage of the break in the student?s litany and said, ?You?re right, son. We didn?t have those things when we were young??..so we invented them.

Now,you arrogant little shit, what are you doing for the next generation??

The applause was resounding?

THIS IS STRANGE!! – Talk Funny Jokes

admin — Sun, 14 Feb 2010 18:33:28 +0000

How smart is your right foot?
Just try this. It is from an orthopaedic surgeon????

This will boggle your mind and you will keep trying over and over again to see if you can outsmart your foot, but you can?t. It?s pre-programmed in your brain!

1. WITHOUT anyone watching you (they will think you are GOOFY) and while sitting where you are at your desk in front of your computer, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles.

2. Now, while doing this, draw the number ?6? in the air with your right hand. Your foot will change direction.!!!!!!!!!

I told you so!!! And there?s nothing you can do about it!
You and I both know how stupid it is, but before the day is done you are going to try it again, if you?ve not already done so.