Teacher: May 5 ibon, binaril ko ang isa. Ilan ang natira?
Juan: Wala po ma’am.
Teacher: Tanga ka ba? Binaril ko nga iyung isa eh. Marunong ko ba magbilang?
Juan: BOBO ka ba ma’am? Edi shempre umalis iyung iba. Pag ikaw ba binaril katabi mo steady ka lang dun? Umupo ka nga rito. Ako magtuturo.
*SA MALL*
girl: ( naglalambing) hon kain tayo.
boy: okay
girl: hn nood tayo ng sine.
boy: ( nangalot sa ulo) okay!
girl: hon! shopping tayo?
boy: ( naglagot) Ang pasensya q hindi basta bastang mauubos, pero ng pera q kunting kunti nlng!
” NO MORE TRY
Three Doctors are discussing which types of patients they prefer. Doctor Watson says, “I prefer librarians. All their organs are alphabetized. ”
Doctor Fitzpatrick says, “I prefer mathematicians. All their organs are numbered.”
Doctor Ahn says, “I prefer lawyers. They are gutless, heartless, brainless, spineless, and their heads and rear ends are interchangeable. ”
4 guys sitting around having drinks and one of the men had to use the restroom. The three others talked about their kids. The first guy said, “my son is my pride and joy he started working at a company at the bottom. He studied business and began to climb the corporate ladder, became president of the company. Hes so rich he gave his best friend a top of the line mercedes for christmas. The second guy said, “damn, thats terrific! my son is also the pride and joy. He started working for a big airline, went to flight school to become a pilot. He became a partner where he owns the majority of its assets. He is so rich that he gave his best friend a brand new jet as a christmas gift! the third man said. “well thats terrific! my son studied in the best universities and became an engineer, started his own construction company and is now a multimillionaire. He also gave an expensive christmas gift to his best friend, a 30,000 square foot mansion! the 3 guys congratulate each other just as the 4th guy returned from the restroom and asked what are all the congratulations for? one of the three guys said, “were talking about the pride we feel for the successes of our sons… “wat about ur son?” they asked the 4th guy. the fourth man replied, ” my son is gay and makes a living dancing as a stripper at a nightclub. The three friends said, ” thats a shame…what a disappointment. The fourth man replied. ” nah, im not ashamed hes my son and i love him..and he hasnt done too badly either. Just this çhristmas alone he received a beautiful 30,000 square foot mansion, a brand new jet and a top of the line mercedes from his 3 boyfriends.