Talk Funny Jokes » Filipino

China and Simsimi Joke

admin — Tue, 15 May 2012 13:27:02 +0000

SIMSIMI and CHINA.

China: Hello Simsimi.
Simsimi: Shut up!
China: Ha?Simsimi, Kilala mo ba ang Pilipinas?.
Simsimi: Oo. Sila yung may-ari ng Spratly Islands at Scarborough Shoal na pilit inaangkin ng mga Tsino na nasubrahan ata sa pagkain ng Tikoy at minalas lalo sa fengshui.
China: Hindi. Sa amin talaga yun, may map kami to prove.
Simsimi: Ulo mo!
China: Huhu! Love mo naman kami diba?
Simsimi: Asa!
China: Bakit galit ka sa amin?
Simsimi: Half Filipino ako. Allergic ako sa Intsik.
China: Ha? Sige na dito ka na sa amin. Bibigyan ka namin ng mga gadgets na gusto mo.
Simsimi: Ayaw ko, Low Quality. Ok na ako sa My Phone. Kahit san ka magpunta, ikaw ay My Phone online.
China: Bahala ka. Sige ka. I-hack ka namin.
Simsimi: Sige. Pag naayos niyo na yung mga websites niyong hanggang ngayon down parin.
China: huhuhu. Isumbong kita kay Jet Li, Jackie Chan at sa mga Shaolin Monks.
Simsimi: Sige lang. Tingnan lang natin kung may laban yan sa Aswang, Maligno, Serina, Engkanto. At kay Darna, Captain Barbell, Leon Guerrero, Bong Revilla, Cesar Montano at baka nakakalimutan mo? Kakampi namin ang The Avengers!

at may TULFO KMI AT SANTIAGO, annable rama..

Tagalog Jokes Collection 3

admin — Tue, 17 Jan 2012 06:02:09 +0000

How do you know if siopao meat is made of cat, rat or dog? Pinch a piece of siopao and let the cat smell it. If the cat likes it…rat! If it doesn’t…cat! If it runs…dog!

What’s the difference between corruption in the USA and corruption in the Philippines ? In the US , they go to jail. In the Philippines , they go to US!

Bakit laging Intsik ang kinikidnap? Kasi pag Pinoy – hulugan! Pag Bumbay – 5-6! Pag Kano – credit card! E pag Intsik – C.O.D.!!!! ************ ********* ******

Lulubog na ang barko… PARI: San Pedro, San Jose … MADRE: Sta. Fe, Sta. Lucia, Sta. Clara… INTSIK: lubok na balko! tawag pa kayo pasahelo!

Filipino Chinese Joke

admin — Sat, 14 Jan 2012 05:59:29 +0000

A Filipino, a Chinese man, and a Japanese guy are in a bar having a drink. When a gorgeous woman comes up to them and says, “Whoever can use the words ‘liver’ and ‘cheese’ in a creative sentence can have me for tonight.” So the Chinese guy says “I love liver and cheese.” She says “That’s not good enough” The Japanese man says “I hate liver and cheese” She says “That’s not creative” Finally, the Filipino says “Liver alone, cheese mine!”

Teacher Student (Tagalog Jokes)

admin — Wed, 26 Oct 2011 08:27:03 +0000

Isang araw sa paaralan ng Santo Thomas………

teacher: class sino ba nakakilala ni JOSE RIZAL DITO???

BATA1:maam di ko pow kilala!!

BATA2:di ko rin kilala maam!!!

BATA3; ako din man di ko rin kilala!!

BATA4:maan baka nasa kabilang klase si JOSE RIZAL!!!! teacher: ngeeeeeee!!!

Teacher Almost Slap Student ( funny gif )

admin — Tue, 18 Oct 2011 16:32:44 +0000

Funny Classroom Jokes | Talk Funny Jokes

admin — Sun, 14 Aug 2011 01:07:27 +0000

Sa Classroom

Teacher :Good Day Class!! Ano ang malaking problemang hinaharap ng kabataan ngayon?…

pedro!! : droga!!..

Teacher : TA~MA !!!.. bkit mo naman nasabi … pedro..!! : kc po mahal na ang droga ngayon…

Filipino NASA Joke | Talk Funny Jokes

admin — Tue, 09 Aug 2011 04:32:19 +0000

Question: Why doesn’t the Philippines have a NASA space program?

Answer: Because when someone yells “Launch!”, everybody stops what they’re doing and go eat their food.

Math Tagalog Jokes

admin — Mon, 01 Aug 2011 04:00:17 +0000

Juan: ale pabili ng sitaw.

tindera: ilang tali ng sitaw?

juan: 3x-5 where x=6

tindera: so 13, bale mura lang 5sin90 ang isa.

juan: ummm… paki convert naman po useing arc tangent.

tindera: ‘di ko carry, tangent na lang. 5tan45, kung gusto mo, mag apply ka na lang ng reduction formula.

juan: ok na po, eto ang bayad, (x^2-4x+3)/sin3x where x=7, keep the change!

ganito ka-useful ang math sa buhay natin.

Guimaras Joke | Tagalog Talk Funny Jokes

admin — Sun, 26 Jun 2011 02:38:56 +0000

Nagbakasyon si Entoy sa isang resort malapit sa oil-spill area ng Guimaras.
Entoy: Waiter, I would like to order your broiled bangs.
Waiter: What kind sir, Regular or unleaded?

Cebu Pacific Joke | Tagalog Talk Funny Jokes

admin — Sun, 26 Jun 2011 02:29:35 +0000

Excited na sumakay nag first passengers sa unang flight ng Cebu Pacific sa buwan. Sa wakas, naipakita rin ng mga Pinoy nag kanilang talon sa aviation technology. Habang nakaupo sa lobo nag eroplano nag mga passengers ay nearing nil nag voice sa loudspeaker: “Welcome aboard Cebu Pacific very first Moon Express transit! We Hope to make your journey as comfortable as possible on this plane, which is a product of the very best in the aviation technology. We assure you of 100% top rate computer technology in this aircraft, eliminating any possibility of human error human error human error human error human error human error….