Talk Funny Jokes

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Hilarious Joke -Talk Funny Jokes

A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him..
The waitress asks them for their orders.
The man says, ?A hamburger, fries and a coke,? and turns to the
ostrich, ?What?s yours??
?I?ll have the same,? says the ostrich.
A short time later the waitress returns with the order. ?That will be
$9.40 please,? and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the
exact change for payment.

The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, ?A
hamburger, fries and a coke.?
The ostrich says, ?I?ll have the same.?
Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.
This becomes routine until the two enter again. ?The usual?? asks the
waitress.
?No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and a
salad,? says the man.
?Same,? says the ostrich.

Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, ?That will be $32.62.?
Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places
it on the table.
The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer.
?Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact
change in your pocket every time??

?Well,? says the man, ?several years ago I was cleaning the attic and
found an old lamp.

When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes.
My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just
put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be
there.?
?That?s brilliant!? says the waitress. ?Most people would ask for a
million dollars or something, but you?ll always be as rich as you want
for as long as you live!?
?That?s right. Whether it?s a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the
exact money is always there,? says the man.
The waitress asks, ?What?s with the ostrich??

The man sighs, pauses and answers, ?My second wish was for a tall chick
with a big ass and long legs who agrees with everything I say.?

Talk Funny Jokes | Two Patient

October 11th, 2009 Posted in Hospital, Medical

Two patients limp into two different medical clinics with the same complaint. Both have trouble walking and appear to require a hip replacement.

The first patient is examined within the hour, is x-rayed the same day and has a time booked for surgery the following week.

The second sees his family doctor after waiting a week for an appointment, then waits eight weeks to see a specialist, then gets an x-ray, which isn’t reviewed for another week, and finally has his surgery scheduled for six weeks from then.

Why the different treatment for the two patients?

The first is a Golden Retriever.

The second is a Senior Citizen.

Talk Funny Jokes | The nephew

September 19th, 2009 Posted in Hospital, mother

A pregnant woman gets in a car accident and falls into a coma. When she wakes up, she sees she’s no longer pregnant, and she asks the doctor about her baby. The doctor replies, “Ma’am you’ve had twins! A boy and a girl. Your brother came in and named them. The woman thinks to herself, “No, not my idiot brother!” She asks him, “Well what’s the girl’s name?” “Denise.” he replies. “Wow, that’s not a bad name, I like it!” What’s the boy’s name?” “Denephew!”

No Work On Monday September 7, 2009 (Iglesia ni Cristo Executive …

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Here is the original: 
No Work On Monday September 7, 2009 (Iglesia ni Cristo Executive …

Mental Hospital Joke

August 21st, 2009 Posted in Funny Stories, Hospital, Work Humor

Jim and Mary were both patients in a Mental Hospital. One day, while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank like a stone to the bottom and stayed there. Mary promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out.
When the medical director became aware of Mary’s heroic act, he immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as he now considered her mentally stable. When he went to tell her the news, he said, “Mary, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you’re being discharged because since
you were able to jump in and save the life of another patient, I think you’ve regained your senses”.
“The bad news is that Jim, the patient you saved, hung himself in the bathroom with the belt of his robe. I am so sorry, but he’s
dead.”
Mary replied, “He didn’t hang himself, I put him there to dry
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