Talk Funny Jokes » Husband

Short adult jokes-30 Seconds

admin — Sat, 10 Apr 2010 07:02:00 +0000

The morning after their honeymoon night, the wife says to her husband, “You know, you’re really a lousy lover!” The husband replies, “How would you know after only 30 seconds?”

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Short adult jokes-30 Seconds

Quality jokes-Upset about something

admin — Thu, 08 Apr 2010 07:02:00 +0000

A wife awoke early one morning to the sounds of her husband angrily banging around pots and pans in the kitchens. When she goes downstairs, she sees that he is looking for something to eat but, more importantly, is very upset about something. “What’s the problem, darling?

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Quality jokes-Upset about something

Animal jokes-Clever dog

admin — Thu, 08 Apr 2010 07:01:00 +0000

A wife says to her husband one weekend morning, We‘ve got such a clever dog . He brings in the daily newspapers every morning. Her husband replied Well, lots of dogs can do that

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Animal jokes-Clever dog

Anyone know any good Visayan or Tagalog jokes suitable for a best …

admin — Sat, 27 Mar 2010 19:59:29 +0000

Unfortunately, being British and from the UK, I know and speak next-to-no Tagalog or Visayan! I’m not going to let that put me off though and so I now need help from any budding Philippine jokers (or jokesses?) out there! …

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Anyone know any good Visayan or Tagalog jokes suitable for a best …

THE SPORTS FAN – Talk Funny Jokes

admin — Mon, 15 Feb 2010 18:33:28 +0000

Alexander Potter was a sports fan whose face was always either buried in the sports pages or transfixed by the television screen. One night as he lay in bed next to his wife watching a football game, she got up, walked across the room and unplugged the television set. ?Hey,? Alex shouted, ?what do you think you?re doing??

?I am sick of sports, and I?m sick of TV,? his wife replied. ?You haven?t touched me in months. We?re going to talk about sex right now!? ?Okay, Okay. So?? After a moment, he asked, ?How often do you think Brett Favre gets laid??

THE FRESHMAN – Talk Funny Jokes

admin — Mon, 15 Feb 2010 18:33:28 +0000

The huge college freshman decided to try out for the football team. ?Can you tackle?? asked the coach. ?Watch this,? said the freshman, who proceeded to run smack into a telephone pole, shattering it to splinters. ?Wow,? said the coach.

?I?m impressed. Can you run??

?Of course I can run,? said the freshman. He was off like a shot, and, in just over nine seconds, he had run a hundred-yard dash. ?Great!? enthused the coach. ?But can you pass a football?? The freshman hesitated for a few seconds.

?Well, sir,? he said, ?if I can swallow it, I can probably pass it.?

THE STAR AND THE CHEERLEADER – Talk Funny Jokes

admin — Mon, 15 Feb 2010 18:33:28 +0000

During preseason training, a college football lineman married one of the team?s cheerleaders. The coach was a bit surprised and remarked to his star football player, ?You are such a big, burley guy. Why in the world did you marry such a tiny, petite woman? She is no bigger than your hand.? ?That?s right, Coach,? replied the lineman. ?But, she?s much better!?

LONG FOOTBALL GAME – Talk Funny Jokes

admin — Mon, 15 Feb 2010 18:33:28 +0000

After spending all day watching football, Harry fell asleep in front of the TV and spent the whole night in the chair. In the morning, his wife woke him up.

?Get up dear,? she said, ?it?s 20 to seven.?

He awoke with a start and said, ?In whose favour??

DYSFUNCTIONAL BEARS – Talk Funny Jokes

admin — Mon, 15 Feb 2010 18:33:28 +0000

Mama and Papa Bear are accused of child abuse.

Baby Bear is put on the stand to testify and is asked by the judge, ?Do you want to live with Papa Bear??

?No,? Baby Bear replies, ?he beats me.?

Then the judge asks, ?Do you want to live with Mama Bear??

?No,? Baby Bear replies, ?she beats me too.?

So the Judge says, ?Who do you want to live with then??

Baby Bear replies, ?I want to live with the Chicago Bears;

they donâ??t beat anybody.?

ANIMAL FOOTBALL – Talk Funny Jokes

admin — Mon, 15 Feb 2010 18:33:28 +0000

During the Super Bowl, there was another football game of note between the big animals and the little animals. The big animals were crushing little animals and at half-time, the coach made a passionate speech to rally the little animals.

At the start of the second half the big animals had the ball. The first play, the elephant got stopped for no gain. The second play, the rhino was stopped for no gain. On third down, the hippo was thrown for a 5-yard loss.

The defense huddled around the coach and he asked excitedly, ?Who stopped the elephant??

?I did,? said the centipede.

?Who stopped the rhino??

?Uh, that was me too,? said the centipede.

?And how about the hippo? Who hit him for a 5 yard loss??

?Well, that was me as well,? said the centipede.

?So where were you during all of the first half when we needed you?? demanded the coach.

?Well,? said the centipede, ?I was having my ankles taped.?