Three Doctors are discussing which types of patients they prefer. Doctor Watson says, “I prefer librarians. All their organs are alphabetized. ”
Doctor Fitzpatrick says, “I prefer mathematicians. All their organs are numbered.”
Doctor Ahn says, “I prefer lawyers. They are gutless, heartless, brainless, spineless, and their heads and rear ends are interchangeable. ”
This 82-year-old man married a 22-year-old woman and they decided that they wanted to have kids. So after trying for a while with no success, he went to see the urologist, pretty discouraged. The urologist said not to get discouraged and that they could run some tests. ?Take this specimen jar into the bathroom and leave me a specimen to test,? the doctor said.
The old man closed the door, and about an hour and a half later, still had not come out. The doctor came by and asked, ?Are you alright??
?No? the old man said. ?This just isn?t going to work.? he dejectedly explained. ?There?s no hope for me, I?ve worn out my left hand, I?ve worn out my right hand, I?ve run cold water over it, and I?ve run hot water over it. I?ve even thumped it on the edge of the sink. But no way can I get the top off this specimen jar!?
A 65-year-old woman married an 85-year-old man. After about six months together, the woman wasn?t feeling well and she went to her doctor. The doctor examined and said, ?Congratulations Mrs. Jones, you?re going to be a mother.?
?Get serious doctor, I?m 65.?
?I know,? said the doctor, ?This morning, I would have said it was impossible, but this afternoon you are a medical miracle.?
?I?ll be darned,? she replied and stormed out of the office. She walked down the hall and around the corner to where the telephones were. In a rage, she dialed her husband. ?Hello? she heard in his familiar halting voice. She screamed, ?You rotten SOB. You got me pregnant!?
There was a pause on the line. Finally, her husband answered, ?Who?s calling please??
On their wedding night, the young bride went up to her new husband. ?Since we?re married now, we can arrange our sex life like this: In the evening, if my hair is done, that means I don?t want sex at all. If my hair is somewhat undone, that means I may or may not have sex. And if my hair is completely undone, that means I want sex.? ?Okay sweetheart,? the groom replied. ?Just make sure, when I come home, I usually have a drink. If I have only one drink, that means I don?t want sex. If I have two drinks, I may or may not want sex. But if I have three drinks, your hair doesn?t matter.?