Talk Funny Jokes

“If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get married.” Katharine Hepburn

“You know it’s love when you want to keep holding hands even after you’re sweaty.” Unknown Author

“The four most important words in any marriage…”I’ll do the dishes.”“ Unknown Author

“Trust your husband, adore your husband, and get as much as you can in your own name.” Joan Rivers

“No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying.” Unknown Author

“Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your heart or burn down your house, you can never tell.” Joan Crawford

“Men only have two faults….What they do, and what they say!” Unknown Author

“When we got married I told my wife “If you leave me, I’m going with you.”And she never did.” James Fineous McBride

“If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many books on how to do it?” Bette Midler

“I’m always looking for meaningful one night stands.” Dudley Moore

“You’d be surprised how much it costs to look this cheap.” Dolly Parton

“Men aren’t necessities, they’re luxuries.” Cher

“A woman might as well propose: her husband will claim she did.” Edgar Watson Howe

“An old man who marries a young wife grows younger – but she grows older.” Unknown Author

“Love is an electric blanket with somebody else in control of the switch.” Cathy Carlyle

“It is not uncommon for slight acquaintances to get married, but a couple really have to know each other to get divorced.” Unknown Author

“If you do kiss a politician, remember this: You are not only kissing him, you are kissing every butt that he has kissed in the last eight years.” Jay Leno

A vegetarian leaks.

This is a classic SNL bit that I found for your entertainment. I have been in technical support, well project management my whole career and I have to say, they really hit this one well? I hope people don?t view me like Nick Burns hahaha. Your computer guy, Nick Burns brings it home with this old funny joke.