Talk Funny Jokes

Alexander Potter was a sports fan whose face was always either buried in the sports pages or transfixed by the television screen. One night as he lay in bed next to his wife watching a football game, she got up, walked across the room and unplugged the television set. ?Hey,? Alex shouted, ?what do you think you?re doing??

?I am sick of sports, and I?m sick of TV,? his wife replied. ?You haven?t touched me in months. We?re going to talk about sex right now!? ?Okay, Okay. So?? After a moment, he asked, ?How often do you think Brett Favre gets laid??

The huge college freshman decided to try out for the football team. ?Can you tackle?? asked the coach. ?Watch this,? said the freshman, who proceeded to run smack into a telephone pole, shattering it to splinters. ?Wow,? said the coach.

?I?m impressed. Can you run??

?Of course I can run,? said the freshman. He was off like a shot, and, in just over nine seconds, he had run a hundred-yard dash. ?Great!? enthused the coach. ?But can you pass a football?? The freshman hesitated for a few seconds.

?Well, sir,? he said, ?if I can swallow it, I can probably pass it.?

During preseason training, a college football lineman married one of the team?s cheerleaders. The coach was a bit surprised and remarked to his star football player, ?You are such a big, burley guy. Why in the world did you marry such a tiny, petite woman? She is no bigger than your hand.? ?That?s right, Coach,? replied the lineman. ?But, she?s much better!?

After spending all day watching football, Harry fell asleep in front of the TV and spent the whole night in the chair. In the morning, his wife woke him up.

?Get up dear,? she said, ?it?s 20 to seven.?

He awoke with a start and said, ?In whose favour??

Mama and Papa Bear are accused of child abuse.

Baby Bear is put on the stand to testify and is asked by the judge, ?Do you want to live with Papa Bear??

?No,? Baby Bear replies, ?he beats me.?

Then the judge asks, ?Do you want to live with Mama Bear??

?No,? Baby Bear replies, ?she beats me too.?

So the Judge says, ?Who do you want to live with then??

Baby Bear replies, ?I want to live with the Chicago Bears;

they donâ??t beat anybody.?