Ricky Reyes and Fanny Serrano had a big fight over who was the better hairstylist
Ricky: Mas magaling ako sa iyo! Look at my branches!
Fanny: Tseh! Hindi ka naman fashion designer kagaya ko!
Pumasok si Jun Encarnation to help the two make peace
Jun: Sige na, mga sisters, mag kiss and make-up na kayo!
Ricky: Willing ako mag make-up!
Fanny: But I will definitely not kiss!
Three engineers and three accountants are traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the three accountants each buy tickets and watch as the three engineers buy only a single ticket.
“How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?” asks an accountant. “Watch and you’ll see,” answers an engineer. They all board the train. The accountants take their respective seats but all three engineers cram into a restroom and close the door behind them.
Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the restroom door and says, “Ticket, please.” The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on.
The accountants saw this and agreed it was quite a clever idea. So after the conference, the accountants decide to copy the engineers on the return trip and save some money (being clever with money, and all). When they get to the station they buy a single ticket for the return trip.
To their astonishment, the engineers don’t buy a ticket at all. “How are you going to travel without a ticket?” says one perplexed accountant. “Watch and you’ll see,” answers an engineer. When they board the train the three accountants cram into a restroom and the three engineers cram into another one nearby. The train departs.
Shortly afterward, one of the engineers leaves his restroom and walks over to the restroom where the accountants are hiding. He knocks on the door and says, “Ticket, please”..!!!!
Good programmer’s never re-invent the wheel, so even the excuses when something doesn’t work or get done are pretty much the same across languages 
We have compiled the top 10 excuses you are likely to hear if you work with a programmer, the computer department or the tech support team.
10. “I haven’t touched that module in weeks!”
9. “It must be a hardware problem.”
8. “Somebody must have changed my code.”
7. “Did you check for a virus on your system?”
6. “You must have the wrong version.”
5. “That’s weird…”
4. “There must be something wrong with your data”
3. “It’s never done that before.”
2. “It worked yesterday.”
and the best one
1. “It works on my machine” ( Popular for students)
Dear Sirs,
Thank you for your letter of March 24th. After careful consideration, I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me employment with your company.
This year I have been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually large number of rejection letters. With such a varied and promising field of candidates it is impossible for me to accept all refusals.
Despite your company’s outstanding qualifications and previous experience in rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection does not meet my needs at this time. Therefore I will initiate employment with your firm immediately following graduation. I look forward to seeing you then.
Sincerely,