Talk Funny Jokes

Due to mounting public critism last April, the Comelec secretly held a special qualificatory exam for showbiz candidate to see if they were intelligent enough to run for public office. Each candidate got a piece of paper from an empty ballot box which contained different kinds of questions. The following is the actual declassified transcript:

Commissioner: What is the difference between lightning and electricity?

Bong: Lightning is free but electricity is not.

C: How many sides does a circle have?

Rey: Two, THe inside and the outside

C: What is a planet?

Lou: A planet is a body of Earth surrounded by sky.

C: What is Uranus
George: Sir, do we have to describe that

C: How can you tell when you’re breathing and not breathing?
Edu: When you breath, you inspire, When you don’t breath, you expire.

C: What does the word ‘germinate’ mean
Nora: When you become a German citizen

C: What is the difference between H20 and C20?
Dingdon:g Easy lang, H20 means hot water and C20 means cold water.

C: What does momentum mean?
Vilma: That’s what you give a person when they are going away

C: Where can you find finland?
Anjo: Inside an original Nokia cellphone

C: What is the capital of the United States?
Herbert: There are two, capital letter ‘U’ and ‘S’

C: What is water composed of?
Philip: It’s composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin, Oxygin, sir is pure gin, while hydrogin , is gin and water naman

C: what is dew?
Lander: Dew is what you see on leavces when the sun shines down on them and they start to make pawis.

C: What is respiration?
Rudy: It;s composed of inspiration , then expectoration

C: What is the longest word in the dictionary?
Isko: Elastic sir, because you can stretch it very long.

C: How do you save a drowning victim
Joey: You climb on top of the person and move up and down to make artificial perspiration

C: Where can you find Guatemala?
Lito: In the botany book . It’s aother kind of gumamela

C: What is Iraq?
Mikey: A kind of stone , sir.