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Nurse Term Medical Jokes

Loser applied to a Medical School
- needless to say he never made it -
Because these are the answers he gave for medical terms.

Antibody – against everyone
Artery – the study of fine paintings
Bacteria – back door to a cafeteria
Benign – what you be after you be eight
Bowel – letters like a,e,i,o,u
Caesarian Section – a district in Rome

Cardiology – advanced study of Poker playing
Cat Scan – searching for lost kitty
Chronic – neck of a crow
Coma – punctuation mark
Cortisone – area around local court
Cyst – short for sister
Diagnosis – person with slanted nose
Dilate – the late British Princess Diana
Dislocation – in this place
Duodenum – couple in blue jeans
Enema – not a friend
False Labor – pretending to work
Genes – blue denim
Groin – to mash to a pulp / smile
Hernia – she is close by
Hymen – greeting to several males
Impotent – distinguished / well-known
Labor Pain – hurt at work
Lactose – people without feet
Lymph – walk unsteadily
Menopause – I no wait
Microbes – small dressing gowns
Obesity – City of Obe
Pacemaker – winner of Nobel Peace Prize
Protein – in favor of teens
Pulse – grain
Pus – small cat
Red Blood Count – Dracula
Rupture – Ecstasy
Secretion – hiding anything
Subcutaneous – not cute enough
Suture – Gujrati for “what do you want”
Tablet – small table
Tumor – extra pair
Ultrasound – radical noise
Urine – opposite of you’re out
Varicose – very close
Vas Deferens – extremely different
Vein – at what time?
Vitreous Humor – both witty & funny

Oxygen Tube

Funny Stories
Ok. For those who know me personally (cutiebootie) you know I am a crazy a$$. So here’s a story to fill your days with kin teet.

Killer P

David had been a faithful Christianand was in the hospital near death. The family called their pastor to stand with them. As the psator stood next to the bed, David’s condition appeared to deteriorate and he motioned frnatically for somethimg to write on. The pastor lovingly handed him a pen and a piece of paper, and David used his last bit of energy to scribble a not, then he died. The pastor thought it best not to look at the not at that time, so he placed it in his jacket pocket.
A the funeral, as he ws finishing the euology, he realized that he wsa wearing the same jacket that he had been wearing when David died. He said, “You know, David handed me a not just before he died. I haven’t looked at it, but knowing David, I’m sure that there’s a word of inspiration there for us all.”
He opened the note and read, ” You idiot, you are standing on my oxygen tube!”
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Funny Jokes & Amusing Stories Blog – Information, Comments …

Funny Jokes & Amusing Stories. http://dyoks.blogspot.com

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Funny Tagalog Joke-Patikim Naman | FunnyPinoy.Com

Here’s oneof several Funny Tagalog Jokes … This one is called.

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Funny Tagalog Joke-Patikim Naman | FunnyPinoy.Com